Everyone has their own method of loading the dishwasher. Some people like to tilt their plates toward the center, others keep their spoons separate to avoid hugging out of solidarity, and some (me) deliberately do a poor job of carrying plates so they’re never asked for again.
What’s different about the new smart dishwashers is that they probably chime in with their own unsolicited advice, too. “I wouldn’t put that pan in there,” you might say, for example.
Smart dishwashers do a lot more than just re-moisten dried pasta stuck to the pot that I hope will come off. They feature sensors that detect how dirty the dishes are and adjust accordingly, provide cycle status updates (“Spoons are disgusting”), and can even be started remotely via smartphone, for those with time to load the dishwasher and close the door. , but not to press the start button (Batman, I guess).
Do not deny that the dishes are ready
Take the LG Smart Dishwasher with TrueSteam and QuadWash, which sound like the names of car wash add-ons that cost an extra $17 and end up denting your hood. It fills the tub with hot steam during the pre-wash to help dislodge bits of crust you were too lazy to scrape off, and will alert you via the app when the cycle is complete, in case you want to eat hot dishes like some people do. likes to wear clothes fresh out of the dryer.
Why would anyone need to be notified when the dishes are ready through the app? Clearly, so they can send a passive-aggressive text message to a spouse or child that simply says, “The dishes are ready.”
This Samsung smart dishwasher has a water leak sensor that can turn off the machine if it starts peeing on the floor, and the GE Profile version has a take no prisoners feature called the Piranha Hard Food Disposer (we’re talking now). It allows users to load the dishwasher without prewash, promising to destroy any food particles with impellers that spin at 3600 RPM. Take that, wandering meatballs.
Perhaps smarter, but definitely cleaner
There’s no denying that modern smart dishwashers out-clean any of the older models, especially the one in my apartment that washes dishes just as effectively as a leaky sprayer that only waters the area under the sprayer.
All those ridiculously named features like StormWash and RackMatic that sound like the names of amateur league wrestlers actually clean things up and will reduce the amount of time you need to pre-wash dishes in the sink.
All the smart device connectivity and remote use is another matter. Unless you’re some kind of tongue-in-cheek cartoon monster troll who likes to eat hot dishes, monitoring how close they are to doing the dishes or stopping a cycle while you’re away because you forgot to put that cup of coffee on is a bit silly. .
Once you’ve used a dishwasher a few times, you usually have an idea of how long it takes. But if you get home early and the dishes aren’t clean yet, do what any self-respecting person does: eat over the sink.