Are you the “cheap” player in multiplayer video games?

It was always frustrating playing with one of my friends on Sega hockey when they were kids. During each possession, he would simply dive straight into the net and score an easy breakaway goal, while I tried to set up an elaborate play, finding those goals much more satisfying.

Today, he works in business (having deliberately avoided the arts for a more logical path), and I’m an idiotic writer. The correlation is painfully obvious.

What does it mean to play cheap

All video games have the perceived cheap way of playing, the open way of taking advantage of the basic programming of the game. In hockey video games, this meant always playing just once, in football, wearing the best gear or playing Tecmo Bo Jackson, and in basketball games, always scoring or shooting from that spot where the ball never seems fail.

So that pixelated player, no matter how bad his rating is, will probably score. Even when he enters the game’s locker room, the other players make fun of him.

“You know you only scored because of the horrible code, right?”
“Whatever,” he says, hiding a single tear.

Maybe you just use sniper rifles and hide on a hill in first person shooter games, or always look for the best weapons and spells in RPG games. Whatever the gender, you are the designated cheap player, the one who makes your friends shake their heads in constant disappointment.

In the same way that board game nights always have a person who takes it too seriously, video game meetings have a player who is always more interested in winning than in everything else, like having fun, for example.

Where are you now?

How this carries them through life remains to be seen. But when you notice them playing like that, you seem to keep your distance, like they’re the kind of person who would kill and eat you on a desert island. This is also how I look at anyone who eats the last piece of bacon for breakfast.

Being a cheap video gamer doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person, just that you’re usually on the lookout for any loopholes, and sometimes you’re not the type to take the scenic route in life.

Perhaps it is better to find a middle ground. Because the emphasis on constantly looking for the original play can lead to an inability to score a simple goal, get a point, or kill when you need to in the game. Winning is, after all, part of the point. You take too scenic a route through life and you’ll never get anywhere.

What I’m trying to say is that today I could kill my friend in that game. Ultimately, there’s no shame in being a little cheap and a little creative here and there while playing video games.

Just be thankful none of you are the button mashers. That guy is probably in prison right now.